|Every|
Somewhere deep in my heart, it hurt. It was like a throbbing sensation. It also felt like a needle buried in my flesh. And my throat felt dry from gulping my sobs and the lump in my throat.
I knew the party wasn't good news for me though it was for other pack members. But I never knew it would hurt me that much. I never expected alpha Ren to treat me any better. I never expected him not to bully me. The way he tauntingly asked me to come over and over again to clean the spilt drink was something small for someone who got bullied and mistreated all her life. It was nothing for me.
But seeing the way alpha Grey's drink spilt to the ground, I couldn't believe he became part of the bullying.
Over the years, the only alpha I've ever trusted was him, even for a second. Though he unconsciously gave me trouble in the basement, though sometimes he was rough towards me, I couldn't help but grow an emotional attachment towards him.
And my stupid heart decided to ache, thinking how cruel he was to bully me like that. Maybe he didn't want Ren to think he sympathised with me. But that was a brutal way to show that.
"It didn't take me long to find you." I heard Grey's voice say from behind, and soon after, I found him sitting on the dirty floor of the storage room next to me. When did he come in?? How on earth did he even find me?
I quickly coiled to a ball and wiped all my tears, trying my best not to keep any evidence left.
"You don't have to hide your tears with me." he slowly said.
I could roll my eyes at his words. I simply ignored him. What a perfect liar! Not to hide my tears so he could make fun of me again?
"Why are you ignoring me now? It's not something to be ashamed of, and Ren is the one who should avoid everyone at this moment, not you," he said.
I started feeling tiredness take over me. It wasn't only physical tiredness, but it was the mental tiredness of being surrounded by toxic people.
"Are you still-" I cut off his words by shoving him away. Though he didn't even move an inch by the small force I used, my actions made it clear that I didn't want to see him at that moment. I expected him to be the fake gentleman I knew and go out from there.
But instead, the next thing I knew, he grabbed both my hands in a tight grip and forced me to face him. He was cruel. And I started spilling tears out like in a faucet.
'Why are you bothering me? Could you leave me alone? Why are you grabbing my trust and throwing it away like nothing?! Though this looks like a game for you, you are playing with my feelings, you stupid, cruel, arsehole!' I yelled in my mind.
That was a time I wished for my voice. Why was I born mute again?
Alpha Grey froze for a second. I saw his eyes searching for mine for a second. During the brief moment of silence, I tried to remove the tight grip he had around my wrists. But failed eventually.
"What did I do to break your trust, huh? I am not playing with your feelings. I've never done that and never will do that either. And no, I am not going to leave you here alone." he said.
I looked at him with my mouth agape. How did he know what I said in my mind??? Did he read my mind?! Did I accidentally talk??
'I am sorry, I told Blue. And before you scold me, you should mend things with him.' Sparkle said in my mind.
'You betraying piece of shit-'
'I am sorry! But trust me, this is a whole misunderstanding.'
'...then tell him I want an explanation.' I sighed in defeat. Grey was silent for another second. Then he started talking.
"I can't go against Ren at this moment. This whole visit to this packhouse is to strengthen the bond between the two packs. And... I am the alpha of my pack Everleigh. My personal opinions can't come first in this situation." he explained.
He released my hands, and I got a second to digest his words. And I was not going to lie. Everything he said was true.
All this time, I've only looked at him as another alpha but not as the leader of the largest werewolf pack. He had so many responsibilities and an image to maintain. How did I even forget about it? I only saw the outside of the situation, but there were more inside.
Geez, wasn't I selfish?
"How old are you?" he asked all of a sudden.
I trained my eyes on him for a second. Then using my hands, I showed him a ten and an eight.
"Means... your age is right to find your mate... so, by any chance..." he hesitated for a second. "Have you found your mate?" he asked.
I could laugh at the question. I wouldn't have been like this if my mate had been there, if they had accepted me as their mate. So I shook my head.
"Oh... that's new.." he said, carefully choosing his words.
I could feel him shift beside me for a comfortable position. It was the closest we've been to each other, and he was exactly right next to me. Our shoulders were brushing against each other.
I pointed at alpha Grey. Silently asked if he had found his mate.
Truthfully, since the day he arrived, or even at the party, he didn't flirt with anyone or even spare a glance at anyone. He didn't look interested in a single soul.
So I already assumed he might be having a lover or someone somewhere. What type of a lover would he be? Maybe a devoted one? I had no idea.
"I am older than you, but I haven't found my name. It's a surprise you don't know what others call me," he said with a chuckle.
I gave him a questioning gaze which made him talk more.
"No pack has their alpha without a luna. Basically, rules are said it is a must to have the luna for the next-in-line alpha to become the pack's alpha. But I didn't have. People still call me 'the mateless alpha'. Means I haven't found my mate yet." he said, continuing, "It's been like what? Seven years. I think I've searched almost every corner I know, but I couldn't find them... Is it possible for someone not to have a mate?" he asked.
I fiddled with my fingers finding an answer. He didn't have a mate. Even alpha Ren didn't have a mate. Though he was younger than alpha Grey, he was older than me. Was he mateless too?
But I've heard being mateless was as rare as finding a fish in a desert...
"Everleigh... I might not find my mate. But it's not impossible to like someone who's not my mate, right?" he asked.
But that question came rather closer to my ear. I slowly turned around. He was leaning to my side, decreasing the small gap between us.
And my heart started beating furiously in the rib cage.